Sex can get rather boring if you’re more of the creative type. Not saying vanilla sex is bad, but it is always good to mix it up once in a while. And one way I’m going to talk about today is role playing! Because everyone loves a sexy maid, right?

Role play (Or RP for my nerds) is pretty much pretending to be something you normally aren’t in a situation you really wouldn’t find yourself in. Like think of it as LARPing meets bedroom. Or dungeon for my more uh…kinky fairies. For me, it’s a great way to explore sex with your partner without all the extra bells and whistles like some folks like. I’ll touch on that another time.

Anyway, like anything new, how does one start and then keep it going? Well do I got good news for you! We’re going to talk about my favorite thing of all time! COMMUNCATION!

An issue I use to run into both with my partners and friends is that one person would take it too seriously while the other was just kind of “meh” about it. The person taking it too seriously is normally being very pushy without noticing while the “meh” person just wanted to do whatever their s/o wanted to do. To expand, let’s talk about them one at a time.

“Meh” partner is noticing that their sex life is kind of not happening with their partner. They ask why and maybe they think if they can make the fantasty come true, their lover will be happy. Fun right? But thing is, they might not be fully into it for whatever reason. Maybe they hate the maid outfit and think it’s stupid. Maybe they don’t want to really be the Dark Magician riding the Blues Eyes White Dragon. But for whatever reason they think it will make you happy, thus the sex better and bit the bullet so to speak. DON’T DO THAT! Not only is it very unsexy, but ‘most’ partners can notice when you are pretending or not into it. That can kill the mood and your good intentions can back fire.

My tip for solving that? You guess it! Communicate to your partner your feelings about a scene, what they want you to wear, etc. Be honest about how maybe you want to do something a little more lax, but still new. An example: Instead of just jumping right into it, ask them what they really want to gain from it. And then tell them what you want out of it. This way you both are exploring what would make you both happy, getting closer and learning about yourselves. Isn’t that freaking awesome?

Now for my more serious newbies who might want to get a little more dirty down the road. Let’s be real first. Sometimes we can be selfish and go along with are partners agreeing to pretty much anything because ‘sex’. Stop that. That line of thinking could take a huge nose dive and then one day your sex life and maybe even romantic life is poof. Like, let’s be real. Unless you lucked out and found someone just like you who is ready to jump into the deep end of the pool, you’re going to have to reel yourself back a bit. You might not even know you’re doing it sometimes. Which, freebie advice, next time you do the deed, note how your partner is acting. Are they engaging the same way when you just have vanilla sex? Or are they just kind of there? If it’s the latter then we go back to actually communicating their wants and needs and then yours. Put them first. Shower them with kisses and affection. Let them know that they can still say no and that you guys can take as much time getting used to it as possible.

Another point, you are their guide. That means they are going to follow your lead. If your partner starts giggling, for example, you can turn it into part of the scene. Make it sexy. Pin them down and whisper something who ever you’re being would say and get them excited and back to focusing on what you guys are doing. Remember, you’re having sex with your partner, not making porn. Yet 😉

Overall, when it comes down to sex and in this case role playing, communication is key. You’re going to have you “meh” partners and your very serious partners. You should never start something unless you are being 100% honesty with each other. It isn’t sexy and can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and bad sex, which we don’t want at all. So until next time fairies! Xoxo