Orgasms can be therapeutic. Damn near like opening some magical pathway that just makes things seem so much clearer than they were before you dug out your trusty wand. The thing is, even if it can ease away the pain, is it really helping? I had been pondering this for some time and giving that I had been having a large (debatable) amount of sex and wank sessions these past few months for the very sensation I mentioned earlier, I wanted to explore it more.
To start, I like to acknowledge that I’m not the best when it comes to all things spiritual. I leave things like that up to folks like Aria Vega. She speaks on these subjects on her blog in a way I can’t, so most defiantly check her out. What I can speak on is my own experience and the experiences of those I’ve interacted with.
I have a lot of pain and trauma circling like vultures in my life. They wait when I’m down for the count to eat away at my liver – or mental health as it would be – making me feel low, sluggish, and broken. It makes it hard to focus on anything, yet my body has learned to keep at least the basic of functions going but also, my libido just sky rockets. Being in this weird state of depression plus high sex drive makes my brain feel heavy; the thought of just fucking or sleeping it off takes over. So, I grab my *magic* wand and just lay back, trying to effectively shoo away those stupid birds for a time being.
Masturbating as self-care helps me a lot. But I feel the past 6 months, I was losing more than my metaphorical liver. It was almost as if the vultures had come back stronger and ate away at me faster than I could regrow. No matter how much I waved my wand, rode a dick or even my more extremes of being fisted, I wasn’t properly resetting. I started to have doubts that I was ever fixing myself and I was just patching up until the next round.
Which sadly, I think is true. My good friend Michael Mirrorcle has have these conversations with me before and touches on it in his videos. And to sum it up, we had both agreed, sex is great but using it to fix yourself isn’t always the best option. Granted, we talked more on it about having sex and not actually masturbating but giving how the past few months had been, I see it reflecting in even more in my alone time.
So I turned to Devil Food, my BFWBF (Best Friend with Benefits Forever), and he explained his self-love to me. See, for him, he jerks off a lot when he is happy but needs to focus on another task. That extra energy pretty much needs to uh…come out somehow, so he’ll rub one out before proceeding with whatever work he must get done. I found this fascinating because this was spoke to me on a level I had, for a very long time, neglected. I wasn’t loving on myself when I was feeling myself. Only when I need a quick pick me up because coming is better than crying.
Here I am now, a mess after finally being able to shoo the vultures away. But I’m happy. I’m happy because I feel I have finally figured out the reasons my self-care wasn’t feeling like self-care anymore. It became a drug I felt I HAD to take to be better and my body naturally built an immunity of sorts to it. Instead of feeling better after a good session, I just felt ok. So yeah, it does help to ease away the pain, but if you do it too much, it can become a mundane task.
That isn’t to say, don’t rub your tears away. But rub when you’re happy! Rub when it feels you’re going to explode with energy. Hell rub one out when you’re bored and want to kill 5 minutes at work. Just notice when you’re self-caring you are also self-loving as blogger Pleasure Connoisseurs points out.
Sidebar: It feels good to be back to writing again! I found out about the #Summer100 challenge from Twitter and joined in. I’m so grateful because I really do feel I needed this extra push to jump back in and boy oh boy is it going to be fun! Let’s enjoy this summer together!
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[…] to monogamous relationships as Victoria mentions in an interesting piece on non-monogamy. Also, Fairy Cake’s blog post reflects on how folks cope with stress. For some sex or masturbation works to release, […]
Thanks for including me. I advocate self pleasure, but when I’m stressed out about things masturbating isn’t my go to. Heehee I wish it was a release to some of my issues that would be great. it just never worked for me. I am the most relaxed sexually when I’m comfortable and relaxed (mentally).I’m abstinent, so I rely on me for everything, once I have things in order then I can focus on orgasms 🙂 . Love this post!!
Oops, my comment has typos HEEHEE!
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This is interesting, hadn’t thought about it from this angle. If I don’t leave myself time for some solo play or couples sex, I end up having a ‘throbbing dream’ so there is definitely a need for my body to keep the climaxes fairly regular.
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[…] way of saying don’t neglect your sexual needs. Fairy Cakes Land agrees. In her article Rubbing the Tears away she talks about using masturbation as a self-care tool – orgasms are […]
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