Cation warning: Mentions of grooming, pedophile, graphic details of mentioned issues

You ever heard the song by Lollipop by Lil Wayne? I mean, it’s only 10 years old so I’m sure someone would have. 18-year-old me loved that song and would routinely suck on dum-dums when flirting with my then boyfriend. Now that I’m 28, I can say with confidence that learning to suck dick that way had its perks but for the love of all that is good don’t take advice from mainstream hip-hop songs all the time.

But let’s back track a little. Before that song even came out I was already sucking dick. My very first blow job was to this older guy and I remember freaking out when he came because I had never really seen nor taste sperm before. The salty taste left me confused and I kind of just looked up at him with the most “WTF” face teenage me could muster. It didn’t stop me from sucking dick, mind you. I have such an oral fixation that will never go away.

Anyway, I remember when he first asked me to do it. I was a virgin and he wanted to wait until I was of age to do “the SEX” but I guess oral sex is different? I don’t know. He’s mental gymnastics astound me now that I’m older. He pulled his dick out and told me to kiss the head and start treating it like an ice cream cone or lollipop. I won’t go much further into detail but just know I was always a fat kid so telling to treat your penis like food is what I’m going to do. It ended well, and he asked if another man had already taught me…So, ego boost?

So, let’s time skip to me using these new skills now. The joy I get from giving oral sex is like no other. Hell, on my birthday, it was the main thing I was looking forward to. Pleasing my partners has always been number one. I even look forward to reading new tips and tricks, so I can always be on my A game.

But I think of back then and everything that went that. I think of that song and I how I used it to motivate and teach me. I was in this state of always trying to be my best because I was scared to lose someone who really didn’t have my best interest at heart. I figured licking he’s” lollipop” would allow me to stay in his world. My current lovers don’t give me that feeling. In fact. They give me this sense of peace and allowance to let my wall down.

The act of licking their “lollipops” also tends to put me in this strange place of complete submission.  This is a new development for me though, since I have just recently gotten comfortable in giving away total. The loving act of swirling their cock in my mouth, kissing the head and snaking my long tongue along the shaft, all while in a mental state of vulnerability is amazing. Before, with the older guy, I WAS vulnerable, and he took advantage. Now I am not, and I can choose to partake in that stupid (but very catchy) song because it is my choice to do so.

xoxo