So, a while ago I had done an article about Roleplaying and touched very heavily on communication. I feel as living beings, no matter what, we find ways to communicate to each other. We are social creatures after all. Most of us love to talk to each other. Or at least at each other. And I want to talk about that when it comes to relationships. Mostly romantic relationships in this post, but this can and is important for all types of relationships.
Carly S. post on not being an asshole really touched base with me and you should check it out. One thing that stuck out to me was “People are vulnerable, be kind, gentle and compassionate”. She’s talking about dating but I feel this is where people forget HOW to talk to each other. We get so wrapped up in being right, or not wanting to face our own faults that we forget our partners emotions. We lose empathy. And without that we lose the skill to acknowledge and understand where our partners might be coming from.
An example: You and your partner both have been busting your asses to make things run as smooth as possible. But they are crying every night because of the stress. This starts to annoy you because you are also stress and can’t understand why they are always crying. Here would be an appropriate time to maybe leave outside yourself and be emphatic to your partner. You can communicate how stress you both must be feeling, and how you understand they are stress and you are there for them just like they are there for you. Don’t be an ass and go, “Well I’m stress too so shut up!” That’s a poor way to get your point across and helps no one in the end.
Being an empath doesn’t mean becoming a doormat to your partner though. I get that a lot from my friends when we talk about our minor (and sometimes major) life issues. They feel as if their partner isn’t listening to them no matter how gentle and understanding they are to them. It ends up feeling like they are just coddling their partner. This can become just as frustrating. But this just leads to my next part of communicating with your partner.
Being fucking honest. Sometimes it starts with being honest with yourself. Is it a rocky relationship with yourself? Do you find it hard to be open with your partner because of past experiences or how they have been coming off? Are you just over it? Speak to yourself. Learn from yourself. Be honest with yourself.
And then be honest with them, the best you can.
An example: You starting to see that maybe you were coddling your partner too much and thus not speaking up for yourself. It could also explain why you feel misunderstood. You decide that it must stop and you two must talk. And talk you do. It isn’t easy. You let them know how you have been feeling.
Your hopes and fears in sharing all of this. Maybe they need a moment to think things over. But they also see maybe they have not been as honest as they could be.
Things won’t always go the way you hope but…You can at least say you said something and did your best.
And I want to stop here and say one improtant thing:
I am speaking from mine and other’s experinces. These examples are either my own or a friend’s. Everything I’m saying is what I feel has helped many people deal with the many realtionships they have to juggle. But I don’t think it’s the only way. Share with me what you think communication looks in your own relationship. Do you agree or want to expand? Let’s get this conversation going!
Doing #Summer100 has been a blast so far! My post are getting up slow but we still going!
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